Wednesday, September 5, 2012
First day of ballet school
After I wrote this post (in which I had something of a small identity crisis and poured my heart out to all you kind and gentle people), I thought and thought and prayed and prayed, and Damian and I talked and talked, and then I registered at a new dance school for five ballet classes per week, as well as a preparatory class for the Cecchetti Grade I exam, which meets twice a month.
I take my first class tonight, and I am relieved but frightened, happy but apprehensive, and all manner of mixed emotions. Yet despite my nerves, I know this is exactly what I want to be doing, what I have wanted for many, many years.
I only worry because for the Cecchetti exams, my technique will have to be very precise--I must practice, practice, practice!--and also because though I will be taking two intermediate classes, I still consider myself a beginner. I have discussed my previous experience with my new instructor, who seems to think I will do okay in the intermediate levels, and I suppose, if I am behind, it's better to begin the intermediate classes now and play catch up, as opposed to waiting. For as we all know, I am not getting any younger. It may seem strange to talk this way at 24, but when you are taking ballet and most of the dancers at your level are decade or more younger than you, well, then it only makes sense.
I shouldn't worry so much, though. I should relax, enjoy the work, the beauty, even the struggle. And I've said this before, but whatever happens...happens.
Profound, I know.
I often wish I could regain the simple worldview that I had as a child. The other day I asked Lila, "If I ever become a ballet teacher, will you come to my classes?"
And Lila answered, "Yeah! Tutus."
That's the attitude I want to have: Ballet class is not scary! Ballet class means tutus in the spring.
Tutus, you guys!
(Painting by Gia of Big Brain Art)